Throughout history, the question of fate or free will is one that has been explored time and time again. The pull between what is fated in the stars and what we can change in our daily life is an interesting result of both being correct and confusing at the same time. As a girl raised on 80’s movies and a belief that if there is not romance in a story that it is not worth my time, I would have to say that I heavily lean toward the side of fate…and yet, life experience and my work as a coach also knows free will to be a powerful resource on this human journey. But is it possible to marry the two ideas that both fate and free will are both true?

Fate is the idea that something is beyond human control, that what is meant to happen will in fact happen, regardless of interference of choice. Some of the great thought leaders and poets have dedicated their art to the idea that fate holds us in her palm and “what is meant to be will be”. From Shakespeare’s tale of two star crossed lovers to Plato advising that “no one can escape his destiny”, it has been ingrained in our culture that there is magic among the heavens and a story has already been written for each living soul. Greek Mythology tells the tale of the three fates, sisters holding the string of our life in their hands, ready to make the cut of our golden cord of life according to our destiny. The science of astrology carries the story and the roadmap of what is meant to be within this and other lifetimes. Through serendipitous meetings of lovers, to the soul family that ignites an immediate bond, to near death experiences and the events that prevent them, all of which fate plays a role.

Free Will is the rebellious sister of fate, rising above adversity, struggle and challenge. It is the ability to change our outcome according to our conscious choices and actions. It is the energy that overcomes predicted outcomes, diagnoses and unsupported circumstances. It is the ability to choose what feels like our truth, regardless of the nay-sayers and pessimists. Unlike fate, which is out of our control and in the hands of the “Gods”, free will is tied closely to our human experience and often is fueled by emotions such as fear, anger and sadness and our moral compass and values. It is the physical action or reaction when the trust of fate is not accessible.

Throughout our lives we are offered windows or portals of merriment between the two. Opportunities to choose what we want, and sometimes we are aware that regardless of our choice, we travel to the same destination in this lifetime or the next. We can either go through that portal, trusting that it is where we are meant to be or we can choose another path and sometimes maybe 5 or 20 years later, the window opens once again so that we can go back and tie up loose ends or have a greater understanding of what is meant to be and why. In past life regression sessions, it is not uncommon for examples of fate and free will to emerge, for people in our current lifetimes to present themselves in the past, allowing us to better understand their role and why we come together time and again.

The topic of soul mates comes up often in my practice, again with numerous examples of how fate brings forward serendipitous events to bring two souls together, to give them another opportunity to “get it right”, find happiness and love. And there are just as many examples of how free will supported or interfered with their story, human experiences or events colliding with what is meant to be. Some come forward still searching for that one perfect match that completes them, and they too wonder if they are destined to be alone or if there is something that they could have done differently.

When we explore the idea of an “accident”, something that we have not necessarily planned but has been planned for us, often it brings forward catastrophic changes to our lives and outcomes. It may move us toward a different path or cement the path that we are currently traveling. For some it may stop their path for a time entirely. But what it really an accident? Do these major life events happen by design, or do our choices?

How often do we “take fate into our own hands” to change the outcome? So often, our heart and head struggle to find compromise and we make decisions with one energy or the other taking the helm, steering us into the fog. As humans, we make decisions that do not feel right or make us happy, based on what we think that we are “supposed” to do…and how often do those choices later need to be self-corrected…and is this moving us back into harmony with the fates, or merely expressing free will once more?

In conclusion, I can’t tell you who will win the war of fate or free will. I can share hundreds of stories of each and continue to encourage you to trust your own intuition. At the end of the day, I cherish each opportunity to guide you and offer you the insight that comes forward. For me, I am just that romantic girl trusting that the portal will open once again when the time is right, knowing that I will have some incredible human experiences in the meantime.

Sam Black
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